As I dined at a restaurant with my goddess and a friend, I felt a hand rest discreetly on my leg under the table. The hand belonged to my goddess, who continued eating and talking innocently the whole time. I excitedly anticipated the hand moving upward. When it eventually did, I got more and more aroused. I was nervous that our friend across the table or others in the restaurant would detect what was going on, but at the same time I was enjoying it. My heart was racing and I was extremely turned on by the time her hand touched my private area.
This is an example of kino. Kino can be used for many things, from establishing a friendly connection to creating sexual excitement.
When two people first meet, kino should start as light, casual touching. You may greet by shaking hands as you’re introduced by a mutual acquaintance, pat the back or put an arm around a shoulder during a casual greeting, lightly touch your conversation partner’s shoulder while making a point, rub an arm to offer comfort, or give a light, playful hit in response to a joke or lighthearted teasing. These are examples of how to build a bond with a friend or date using kino.
As a pair get more comfortable with each other and learn each other’s boundaries, they get more adventurous with their touching. Light touching turns to heavier physical contact, until both parties are caressing and eventually groping. Kino is used this way to say, “Let’s get it on!”
When using kino, watch for the woman’s reaction. You don’t want to come across as creepy, inappropriate or overly aggressive. That will turn her off and could even land you a spot in jail next to a bunch of sweaty, muscle-bound cellmates. The key to using kino to get the results you want is to start with brief touches that seem almost accidental, such as slight taps on the arm or shoulder. If she doesn’t seem uncomfortable or pull away, or if she returns the touches, this shows she’s open and receptive to your touches. As you two grow closer, you should gradually lengthen each touch and escalate the level of touching according to your comfort level and hers.
You can even use kino to show a woman that you’re confident. If you take her firmly – but never tightly or roughly – by the hand or arm and give a slight tug, she’ll see you as a guy who’s capable of taking control of a situation when needed. This is especially effective when your reason for taking her hand or arm is to guide her through a crowded space. Take extra care if you try this technique. Be gentle and polite about it, and never yank her hard, or it can backfire.
What are some ways you use kino to establish friendships, get dates, etc? Don’t forget to tell us about your not-so-good physical moments also.
I’ve been a fan of the thumb war lately. It’s great fun when you first meet new people. They are expecting the same old handshake they get from someone else and then, BAM it’s 1-2-3-4 I declare a thumb war. It’s fun, shows if they have a sense of humor, and gets both parties used to prolonged touching in a fun, safe way. Word of caution: Most women will cheat in a thumb war
Morien
I can see you now yelling “THUMB WAR!” Looks like you found a fun way to initiate physical contact in a non-creepy way. Plus whats more fun than playing thumb war with an attractive woman even if she does cheat? Can’t wait to hear some more ideas from other people.
Great article Zues, very informative and insightful view of kino.
Through my experiences, I have come to beleive there are three types of escalations. The first and most known is Kino (in which this article is about), the second being mental/emotional, and the third being logistical.
As of course, kino gets a woman accustomed to your touch, and desiring of it. No need to dive any deeper into this.
The mental/emotional aspect is when you get a woman thinking about getting physical with you. This can be done through sexualization in conversation, stories of things that may get her wanting to have sex with you (everyone has a fettish of some sort, you’d be suprised), and mainly things that are expressed verbally. Kino can also play into this, because a simple touch can make her think sexual things.
Thirdly, logistical escalation. It happens when you move from a public location where neither of you can hear each other (ex: loud club/bar) to a more conversation friendly environment (a quieter part of the club or outside of the bar) to a more private location that encourages more kino (your place/her place). The venues must escalate to provide the environment that she is comfortable to have a sexual encounter in. For example, some women may not have sex in a crowded room, but if you find an isolated closet… shes ready to go.
The hangups that can happen if you get these wrong are as follows:
Your screw up the kino (physical touch) and escalate to aggressively, you can come off as a creep. Don’t use enough (or any), and you end up as a friend at best (or another nobody at worst).
Screw up the mental/emotional side of things (no sexualization, not stating your interest in her, not leading her mind to “fun” places) and your really hurting yourself here. If a woman can’t see herself having sex with you, then you reduce your chances dramatically. I do beleive that some people mistake this for a defense mechanism sometimes, when in reality, they never sexualized the encounter. Its not them protecting themselves from you, its you shooting yourself in the foot.
And last but not least, screw up logistics, and there is no place to have sex, regardless of how bad she wants to do it, if the venue does not satisfy her comfort threshold, then you will not have sex.
Most of this was summarized, and I can elaborate more if needed. Once again, great article above. I shall continue to check in from time to time.
Luchador
I’ve seen many guys make the mistake of not letting a woman know his intentions at first by not making any moves or doing the opposite by being too physical from the start by mauling her. I agree that in order to allow a woman to get comfortable with getting physical with you there must be trust established first by doing all the right things at the right time and in a respectful manner. And that closet must have been cramped.
I have started making kino a normal part of all of my social interactions. Not only did it make people feel more intimate and personal when talking to me, it more importantly made any women I talked to comfortable with my touch from the get go. If I eventually escalated things past the platonic stage, that initial erotic physical contact doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. It has now become natural for me to touch a person when in a conversation. It has become a crucial part of how I build a connection with people.
Crowskee Savvnasty
When Kino is done right it establishes trust and more intimacy between a man and woman. With practice you will learn how to touch people in an apropriate manner according to your environment and situation. Of course you’d never want to rub your bosses back or grab a girls butt that you just met but done in a proper manner, does establish a deeper connection with people.
Great insite Crowskee