Fear is like a little fire that starts small and keeps growing hotter and hotter until it finally burns you up. At first, it’s no big deal because it’s tiny and easily controlled. We guys just push it down deep inside and try to forget about it – until it turns into something much bigger and uglier.
The problem with this is that we tend to do everything within our power to avoid experiencing the events that caused the fear in the first place, instead of facing the fear and overcoming it. Take public speaking for example. Let’s say that you’re walking up the stairs to get onto the stage, and trip on your shoe laces. Everybody laughs and causes you to be extremely embarrassed. In order to avoid being humiliated in the future you stop doing public-speaking altogether.
You might think that this is the solution, but it’s not because the longer we avoid facing a fear, the more afraid we become of it. Our minds tend to play out the scenario over and over in our heads, with the imagined outcome becoming worse each time. This also creates a bad habit of dealing with other fearful situations the same way. Now, instead of having just one fear, we have multiple ones, turning us into a fearful little boy instead of a strong, confident man.
It’s much better to face our fears head-on as soon they start so that they don’t grow so large that they eventually consume us. It’s the equivalent of wearing a jacket on the beach in order to cover up a body that’s been abused by eating junk food. Wouldn’t it be much better to clean up your diet in order to be able to go shirtless or wear shirts instead? Deal with the problem instead of trying to hide it.
Of course, men are terrible at dealing with their problems because we hold them inside instead of sharing them with others and asking for advice. We think talking about it would make us look less manly and weak among our male friends. If we could be more open like women, we’d be much better off with dealing with the problems we have that are causing us to be so terrified of every little thing.
As a matter of fact, women wish that men would open up about what’s bothering them more, and if you don’t believe me, just read the quote below that’s from a very wise woman who I heard it from.
The difference is that women talk to other women and are not afraid to expose our fears because we are the weaker sex. Men, on the other hand, are taught to be strong and self-confident and suppress their fears and emotions. I think that’s so sad.
As you can see, guys, you don’t have to always be the tough, macho guy, because all guys have fears. Any guys who tell you that they don’t have fears are full of crap. Telling others about your fears and getting help with dealing with them doesn’t make you a weak man. It makes you a smarter, wiser, and happier one.